While waiting for the license to come through I was itching to use the gun, but I decided to go snorkeling using everything minus the gun.
I have the pleasure of living a short walk away from my preferred arena (I do not have a car) Fekruna Bay. As I struggle with the wet suit I can feel the excitement racing through my body.
To my belt, I tie on the torch and knife. The dog by the way is looking at me with fear as I walk out of the spare room looking like a dry seal with equipment. Tie my other accessories to the float and prepare for my slightly self conscious waddle to the wall 50 metres down the road, with aid of the wetsuit I feel almost like a superhero where I could possibly jump extreme heights.
Over the wall
Gear on the wall, I feel that I must look like a right lunatic gently hovering up and down preparing for my super-leap. The dry seal super flea! The jump was successful, however the landing was not! I landed on some moist clay and slid a good 5 metres down the slope!
I find the bay with a gentle lapping of the Mediterranean sea, it is so quiet down there. I find a suitable rock to lay my gear down and prepare my goggles (Spit and rinse), snorkel, glove and tie the float to my belt with a good 5 metres line (seemed like the right thing to do). Now is the time to gently slip into this December Sea, quite cold by Malta's standards, but warm compared to the UK waters. The initial bite as the water seeps into the wet suit and contacts my skin is short-lived. Fish, I see fish! I clamber around the rocks to find lots of little fish even a pipefish which seems to be such a docile little fella.
You would thought that attaching a torch to my belt was a little overkill especially in sunny Malta in the mid day sun. Surprised to find that the torch is handy for lighting up any darkened cracks and tunnels if you find any.
After a 20 min ramble I decide to try and dive! So, I take a breath and assume the vertical head down position that always works with swimming near naked in a swimming pool. My legs flap about and nothing really happens. I recoup and try again. This time I make more effort to force my body under. I go under for what seems like 20 seconds but I'm sure it was only 5 seconds, I decide that the problem here is weight to buoyancy ratio I only have 2 kgs and I am too buoyant with the wetsuit and mask etc.
If you are diving shallow waters, you need more weights than if you are planning diving deep. For now and for a while I do not foresee myself diving more than 10 metres.
Did I mention that the line connecting me to the float was tangled all around my legs and at one point around my neck!
After 1.5 hours of exploring the area I decide to head back and retire until next time. I noticed a couple watching me from the abandoned restaurant. I clamber out of the water with a satisfied glow and feeling of pure calm! Arrange my gear and climb the slippery clay hill back to the wall, I was greeted by the couple that were looking at me with excitement as I struggled. They asked if I can go in again, they helped me carry the floats and gear over the wall.
Breathless and being from the Isle of Man where my accent is not very easily understood by the Maltese I struggled to ask them what and why. The parents had dropped a chair into the sea, they seeing me looking like a pro-diver who could obviously help with a degree of competence.
Scene of the tragedy
Nobody seems understand my Manx English, very frustrating for them and for me. My Maltese is very minimal and again with an accent. I jump in he sea again and have a look to view the situation. Knowing it was too deep, I felt I must at least flap about to show I am trying. I must've looked pretty pathetic being with 'All the gear but with no idea', I dived 1 metre before popping back up again. The only option here is to fish the good old fashioned way.
This was my chance to redeem my efforts and relive childhood memories of dangling string from the bunk-bed pretending to be a crane while my brother was asleep in the bed below.
I asked for my float, they did not understand....I repeated with crazy hand movements the shape and size of the float. The young lad understood, he also arranged a metal coat hanger with a weight! With this team and my willingness to get wet I gently fed the line to the chair and hooked it first time, the wire was flexing under the weight, but the buoyancy was helping me gently raise this tragic chair. Within arms reach I grabbed it, raised it and was conscious that if I raise this out of the water I may sink. They grabbed the chair!
With the objective complete, you would think this was the end of the excitement! Well, typical to Maltese attitudes I was encroaching on the land of the locals who were fishing with their rods. They were not willing to draw in their lines for me, so I had to swim out and around these
meandering network of invisible string. I managed without further hassle!
Clambered out of the sea and headed back home up the road.
Lessons learned on this trip:
Careful of this string, it can tangle really easily.
For shallow diving about 4 - 6kgs should be enough. Experiment progressively to see what is right for you
Look before you leap
Superheroes should wear neoprene
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